Standards – everybody has them and they’re vital in our world because they keep things in order and, basically, tell us what’s right and what’s wrong. ’Standard’ is a term which has a positive meaning and can be associated with other words such as ‘principle’, ‘rule’, and ‘ideal’. Nevertheless, in the field of dating, when do these standards get in the way of a potential relationship? Are they called unreasonable dating standards?
When it gets in the way
Whether we realize it or not, we have specific qualities of the type of individuals we want to date and have a romantic relationship with. Standards are utilized as the basis of judgment. If we tweak the definition a bit and make it into a requirement set for the individuals that we would like to meet, it is now what we refer to a dating standard. Please find below some examples showing these types of dating standards:
1. I will just date someone with a stable job.
2. Just dating someone if he/she is generous.
3. I would just date somebody who has a compatible personality with mine.
4. I will just date somebody who is mentally mature.
This checklist can go on and on but in the meantime, let us discuss the ones mentioned above.
Now, these four standards sound very realistic, but here’s when you interpret these standards into something totally different:
1. Only going out with somebody if she/he earns a minimum of 6 figures.
2. Go out with an individual who always puts me first.
3. Only going out with someone if he/she has a personality that is compatible with mine according to my list.
4. I will just date someone who is emotionally mature and he must understand my fits.
When you interpret them this way then you probably have unrealistic dating standards.
So before making your dating standards, try to be reasonable. With regards to making your dating standards, it’s vital to be fair and truthful. If you do this, you could simply bring your standards down into a more reasonable level. The possibilities of you finding a partner who will do the same for you would increase as you get a better perspective of things.
Do not forget that no matter what your dating standards are, they must not be too high. It is also important to bear in mind that your dating standards should measure up to you so prior to making an evaluation of yourself, be fair and truthful. It is truly not bad to have standards. They just have to be reasonable, mature and truthful.